Coaching With Empathy

What Does Your Relationship With Your Clients and Athletes Look Like?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the coach–client (and coach–athlete) relationship — and how often we get it wrong.

Most people have a story about a trainer who said:
“You just have to make time.”
“Eat this, not that.”
“More cardio.”

All with certainty — but without ever considering where that person is coming from.

I’ve been guilty of it too. Early on, I thought being a good coach meant having all the “right” answers. I showed up with knowledge, research, and what was optimal.

But over time, I learned something humbling: what’s optimal on paper isn’t always applicable in real life.

We can hand out plans and motivation, but if it doesn’t fit someone’s life, it becomes noise. And when people — clients or athletes — feel overwhelmed, they don’t feel empowered. They feel incapable.

Coaching isn’t about prescribing a path and demanding they walk it. It’s about building that path together, walking beside them, pointing out obstacles, and asking where they want to go.

That doesn’t mean being their best friend or constant cheerleader. Sometimes, the best coaching is delivering uncomfortable truths — highlighting the gap between what someone says they want and what they’re doing. That gap is where growth happens.

To serve better, we must be more curious and ask:

• How do they see the world?
• What do they want from coaching?
• Which stage of change are they in?
• How can we best facilitate the outcomes they care about?

Our job isn’t to pull clients or athletes to where we think they should be — it’s to meet them where they are and help them take the next step forward.

‍